pennies.

quotes are a great thing. something someone said once that was profound enough to be remembered and written down. and retold again later.

quotes are things you put on your walls. hang on your mirror so you see it when you wake up. you put them on bumpers and key chains.

quotes are reminders.

here is one i read tonight.

it's alright with the Lord for you to pray for a good harvest

BUT

He expects you to keep plowing

i was sitting in wintzell's oyster house tonight. ADD had kicked in. there were millions of colorful printed signs on the walls that had quotes of every nature. the walls were literally covered from ceiling to floor with these quotes.

an ADD kids nightmare.

but that one quote stuck in my head. i even tweeted it [lame i know].

but it is so true. and it shouted at me about patience. keep plowing on through life. pressing forward, not quitting or slacking up. perseverance and prayer. constant surrender and sacrifice.

and then the Lord rewards those who wait upon Him.

kids collect a lot of things. from little toy cars to baseball cards. american girl dolls or weeds. kids always think it is cool to have their very own collection. something they have searched after and hunted for, something they can call their own, and of which be proud.

some kids collected pennies. i didn't, but some did.

you find pennies in the most random places. in a shoe, under your bed, in drawers that never held clothes with pockets, under couch cushions...

you find them all over. if you just. look.

God gives us pennies. pennies like the ones you find when you are not expecting it. like tonight.

in wintzell's God gave me a penny. a little reminder that he is constantly teaching me. constantly refining me. reminding me of His faithfulness. reminding me to keep on plowing.

the harvest is coming.

organizer barbie.

sunday night after all christmas festivities were over, after mom and i watched two movies, after everyone had eaten leftovers; i got the cleaning bug. i sometimes get this bug and all i can do is think about cleaning/organizing. it is a rare occasion, however it is serious whenever it hits.

monday morning i woke up and began my adventure into the massive chaos that emily and i called a closet. i do not believe the abyss had been organized or cleaned since i left for auburn in 2008. and as i peered into this black hole i became nervous that i would not come out alive.

you have seen that show about the hoarders, well i promise it was not that bad, but in order to give your imaginations a rest, here is a little before picture of my "closet."

i mean this is embarrassing for me to put on here for all you to read, however, i need you to understand the gravity of the situation...

so after four hours of organizing, cleaning, folding, sorting, hanging, and bagging. three 33-gallon trash bags, and one bag of trash. my closet was clean.

i took the cloths and shoes and other items to the "caring center" downtown that our church does, and dropped them off for people who will wear and use this stuff.

made me feel like i was giving back after having received so much for Christmas.

but here is the finished product of the closet cleaning craziness.

well this was my monday.

after this extravaganza i took a shower and took pictures of my sweet little sibs before assembly! brought back memories for sure...

until later.

christmas games.

we went to birmingham to see aunt pam and uncle terry for Christmas Eve, Eve. david and jenny, mark and brittany, chris, laura and little eloise came up to b'ham.

aunt pam always has her house beautifully decorated and arranged. no matter what time of the year, she is an amazing host.

her beautiful table.

she made most of these trees

and created these out of old ornaments and holly.

Every year we have Christmas Trivia. questions about traditions, carols, christmas movies, etc... it is normally terry's doing, and this year, the prize was a $50 visa gift card. so, as you can imagine, we were very eager to begin the game.

terry printed off questions and pam kept score for everyone. terry would call on everyone according to whoever raised their hand first. laura dominated.

but, as all Bethea's are, we were very competitive. and there was lots of laughter. and we were all more educated about Christmas.

Eloise was also there! She is growing up so quickly and had a precious little bow in her hair. we can lay her out on the floor and we watch her like shes television. i am excited to watch her grow up and into this beautiful little girl. and eagerly await to discover what she is going to be when she is all grown up.

we love just hanging around the house. normally a slap fight breaks out between my brother and someone.

there is always food and goodies around.

well Merry Christmas Eve everyone.

home for christmas

I love being home. I have been doing so much nothing in montgomery. and i have loved every single minute of it. it has been wonderful.

i have baked and cooked and cleaned and watched a w

hole lot of the office and other movies with the sibs.

i have loved being home for christmas. it has been so fun. here are some peaks into my break so far.

made these for 11th grade christmas party at our house.

we had a christmas get together at fran's the sunday we got out from exams.

i would really love to post more but i am growing tried and we have a busy day tomorrow. we are heading to the ham to visit family.

so until tomorrow.

favorites.

i just finished my mircoecon final and am so thankful to have that class behind me. my mind does not work that way. nevertheless, i am finished with exams for the day and decided to make a post.

my days this week consist of studying, breaking for meals, breaking for tea or coffee, breaking for anything, and more studying.

i am having my Dgroup girls over for our christmas party tonight. so i will be making a trip to hobby lobby in a little while to get some goodies for my girls!

yesterday i decided that i wanted to share with you some of my favorite things.

1. light. christmas light. i put these up during one of my breaks yesterday. it is the one thing in our apartment (besides my apple cider Yankee Candle) that is Christmas-y.

2. my Patagonia Better Sweater Jacket. i got this for thanksgiving (which was Christmas) from my grandparents. it is so soft. and warm. i love it so much. and will be wearing it so much.

3. these are my new Christmas shoes! got them from Rack Room in Tigertown for about $23! they are from x.appeal. great for dancing in too:)

4. these are my new Durango boots! i am in love. i wear them everywhere. they are so comfortable and so adorable. best Christmas present ( THANKS GRANDMA and PAPAW)!

5. this is my constant companion during the week. it's kimmy's coffee mug from cambridge coffee (which is no longer in business). it is huge (obviously) and perfect for my coffee and tea or whatever i am drinking to keep my hydrated during study sessions.

anyways. well i am about to head out to go to hobby lobby. enjoy your day!

keepin' it in state.

well WAR EAGLE everyone.

to be completely honest i didn't think we would ever see this day. if you told me in the beginning of the season that Auburn would be undefeated and going to the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, I would have laughed in your face.

But yesterday our dreams came true. Auburn is going to Glendale, Arizona to play Oregon in the 'Ship. wow.

We are keeping that National Championship in the state, baby!!

on the subject of auburn, my little sister just found out she is accepted to this fine university. about gave me a heart attack. i cannot think of a more special thing to share with my sister than auburn. i will be a senior when she arrives for her freshman year, and it will be a precious year that we get to spend together.

i am very blessed to have a sister like her. we have grown extremely close over the past couple of year, despite the fact that i am in auburn. next year, will be even more exciting because she will be here with me. sharing, laughing, and growing in my last year, and her very first.

in other news, it is finals time. i have a final every day this week. looking forward to that for sure.

being the second week of advent, we sang songs at cornerstone about the "coming" of Jesus. we sang "come thou long expected Jesus," "oh come oh come Emmanuel," "Come Lord Jesus Come".....

and we talked about the meaning of advent. it is the preparation for the coming of the Messiah. so it is waiting. And Pastor Rusty discussed how waiting is when the Lord does the most work. He asked us to look into the Bible, and see that the Lord made the people of Israel wait a LONG time before He gave his promise.

Look at Abraham and Sarah with the promise of a child. That is just one example.

But how do we apply that to our everyday lives? Simple.

waiting is mostly the time in our lives when we feel that we are in a "valley." But pastor rusty pointed out that fruit grows in the valleys, not on the mountain tops.

the Lord teaches us to be completely reliant on Him. Trusting in every way. Sometimes, we "wait" for things to happen, or us to succeed, or meet someone, or figure out what we are supposed to do with our lives. Yet, God wants us to rely on Him completely, and then we will know when He is giving us what we need.

This was truly reinforcement for me this morning.

Thank you pastor Rusty for your insight.

off to study....

nap time.

yesterday we drove to atlanta to stay with our grandparents for the thanksgiving holiday. the trees are the most beautiful colors this year. so many reds and oranges. it always reminds me of how much i want to get married during this time of year. october actually...

but we just visited yesterday afternoon and evening. i got in a four mile run and emily got in a two hour nap.

i think this is what thanksgiving break is for. we work and work until thanksgiving break. then we sleep for a week in preparation for the week of exams that is coming.

but whenever the weather clears up i will take some pictures of the trees and stuff. it's beautiful.

hope you are enjoying your thanksgiving break!

lunch. date.

every monday at about 1 o'clock i meet with sara for lunch in old foy.

we rarely see anyone we know, therefore it is a wonderful time to catch up and just hang out before the craziness of our week begins. today, sara got her normal chicken breast on wheat sandwich {literally every single time she gets this} and i settled for fruit {wasn't that hungry... } and might i add that the fruit i got was like $6.41. can you say overpriced campus food...?

anyways, we sat in our normal place and ate our lunch and began our talks. about school and how much we love it, about what we're not learning and about what we are, about creepy people {Jesus take the wheel} and about nothing at all.

we laugh a lot on these lunch dates. a whole lot actually. today was no exception.

today we learned we would rock at being guys. sounds a little weird? continue reading....

if i were a boy {i wish i could sing that like beyonce} i would rock at dating. seriously, i {sara and i} have it basically figured out. how hard is it really?

{DISCLAIMER- i am in NO way referring to a guy i {or sara} has ever dated. seriously, the guys who have ever asked us out have done it the right way! we are not talking about them, just all the other ones...}

we would rock. guys need to just ask girls out when they want to. stop acting like it's some big deal.

let's be real.

what is the worst thing that can happen? you get rejected right? well odds are you are either going to marry this girl or break up so there is a chance you're going to get rejected or you're going to reject her in the end, so why not take a chance, she could be your wife.

sara and i were mainly referring to guys we have watched mess things up with girls. just slight frustration. we laughed so hard though. we are sure the guys sitting around us got a great lesson on girls and will take advantage of asking girls out.

photo courtesy xkcd.com

this cartoon just makes me laugh.

sprite?

tonight adpi's wonderful m.e.v.p., miss mary katherine reeves, made it possible for us to go see the new movie Morning Glory.

it was amazing. had diane keton, harrison ford, and the notebook's rachel mcadams. an all star cast if you ask me. the movie was wonderful and i would go see it again. i HIGHLY recommend it. not only is it inspiring, it is funny, and has some great life principles.

i normally boycott such things like paying $5.40 for a drink at a movie, but tonight i decided to treat myself. not only with the purchase of something obscenely over priced, but with a beverage i rarely (if ever) enjoy.

sprite.

yes i drank a carbonated beverage tonight. not only was is carbonated, but it was a LARGE. meaning i took full advantage of the free refills. but i did share with my neighbors.

i will not lie to you, i enjoyed my sprite very much. i normally save the consumption of such beverages on special occasions like a football game and i am dying and water just isn't appealing. or maybe a ginger ale after thanksgiving or christmas with aunt pam. but NEVER just for kicks.

today was different.

and i loved it.

blue stones.

the place to be today was most certainly auburn alabama.

the georgia bulldogs were beat beautifully today by the tigers and i must say, it was the best game i have seen all year.

thanks to some close calls and redneck football players, the 5 hour game (i was in the stadium from about 1:30 to 6:45) was an amazing display of football talent.

it is great to be an auburn tiger.

_________________________

i always love reading back a year to the day of when i write. it is so refreshing to not only see how your writing has changed, but also how you have grown as a person.

i can honestly say that this semester, I have learned more about myself than i could have ever imagined. school is a different kind of learning. sometimes we just memorize and move on. sometimes we try to use that same tactic to learn about ourselves and about our relationship with our Lord.

however, this is not the way to do things. learning comes from experience. learning comes from exposing things you may not have wanted to expose, or experiencing something undesirable.

this semester has brought challenges and heart ache. lots of loss and lots of tears. but through it all i can stand and shout that my Lord has been faithful. he has continued to reassure that he is leading me through these times and is making me into the woman i am supposed to be.

_________________________

thanksgiving is so soon. i cannot wait to see my family. i cannot wait to have a long break. and i cannot wait to run this half marathon.

tomorrow is a long day. as in long run day. nervousness is really kicking in about this race. i don't want to embarrass myself.

and i was reminded of my love for dancing thursday night. i was reminded that it is okay to be silly and have a good time. my neck is even sore from all the dipping and twirling. i love dancing. i cannot wait 'til our next function so i can dance.

au bon pain.

Over the past several weeks i have found that i enjoy spending mornings in the student union. thursday mornings i have breakfast with exec from IJM (International Justice Mission) and i love it. so this morning i decided to wake up early and park it in Au Bon Pain and eat some breakfast, work on some homework, and start my day with intention.

lately i have been lacking in intentionality. i believe we are called to live intentionally, with a purpose, and i have been forgetting that recently.

last night i met with the leadership of our small group at Kelly's house. kelly lives in a really neat house, it's one bed room and one bath but it has the coolest little sun room. we meet every monday night in that sun room. we pray for Oikos, we pray for and over each other. we listen to what the Lord is speaking through us to one another. it really is a fantastic opportunity to share and love on each other.

sunday night i had my Dgroup girls over for dinner. what a blessing these sweet girls are in my life! I have six 10th-grade girls in my group and they are never lacking in laughter, joy, and utter excitement about life and everything that goes along with that.

I love every second of being with them.

I am working on an alphabet project with my camera for something kimmy and i want to do. I will update more on that later. hopefully with new pictures:)

well there is a little update in the life so far.

I am enjoying this weather so much. looking forward to thanksgiving more and more everyday.

hitch

it's been a while.

glad to be back here.

i am watching hitch as i am writing this tonight. it is such a great night. i am all curled up in my trinity sweats (thank you jackson) and blanket. i ate oats and milk for dinner and a couple spoons full of peanut butter. crunchy tonight.

i like movie a whole lot. i've seen it many times, and i love it more and more every time.

i am so thankful for this cold weather. i thought it was never going to come!

jordan lee is in the top five for miss homecoming this week and she is doing such a great job. she is my big sister in adpi and i could not have chosen a better person to represent adpi and auburn.

she is a light. truly. i have learned so much from her. seen her grow in so many ways. i am truly thankful for her and she is one of the reasons i am even an adpi.

well i hope to be more involved with my blog these next few weeks.

OH i am officially running a half marathon. on thanksgiving morning my uncle and i am running the atlanta half marathon. i already registered and everything. i am really excited.

i ran 10 miles sunday afternoon. it wasn't as bad as i expected it would be. i am really excited about it all.

well until next time

the pursuit of education.

i am learning.

everyday.

some days i learn things from school. for example, how to write as a reporter. how to use the inverted pyramid when writing and to make a "lead." i learned the difference between supply curves and demand curves. i have learned how to write a resume and cover letter. and now i am learning how to persuade people.

sometimes, i learn from my roommates. this does not happen often (joking), but i do learn. they teach me how to dig deeper into my own life and figure out what i truly want, and what God wants for me. i learn how to get someone else's back. i learn when the right and wrong time to say something is.

sometimes, i learn from random strangers. i observe interactions in kroger or in the student center. i learned today that it is definitely NOT okay to kiss goodbye on the concourse (by vicarious experience obviously) and that grey t-shirts in alabama heat is NOT a good idea (by direct experience).

i learn every single day. i learn about myself.

__________________________

on another note. i have been watching little ella. she has grown so much in the past couple months. i am so blessed to have the opportunity to keep her. it is like practice for when i get older... or when i have kids. i hope i have kids.

i am praying the Lord will bless me with children.

here is precious ella.

i really love keeping ella. the time i spend in her home has been such a new page for me. i spend hours alone with ella. it is a special time for me to be still and silent. and just listen.

of course i spend much of that time playing and entertaining ella, but she cannot speak back to me yet, so it makes for a quite afternoon.

but i love every minute of it.

___________________________

funny story.

so i thought i was OCD right. well today i found someone who is the most extreme example i have ever seen.

mind you, i am in the old foy dining hall, which i guess isn't really old anymore. it's new. anyways...

it is about 1:15 this afternoon and i am standing in line behind these two girls in the salad line. it is make it yourself. clever and rather brilliant idea. saves time, you know. but i am standing behind this girl and i am not sure if it is because i am very hungry or this girl is crazy.

homegirl starts arranging her pieces of lettuce. i lost it. i mean i looked at sara and lost it. crying practically.

i mean i was hot and hungry, but it seemed like this girl stood here for about an hour arranging her lettuce in the box. not really moving it, put twisting and maneuvering it the way she wanted it in the box.

i thought it was blog worthy.

then i got to the table and realized that my salad was arranged in color order around the box in accordance with the rainbow.

really. that was embarrassing.

bake.

last night, the residents of 6305 got in baking mode. well actually we have been in baking mode for the past two weekends.

last weekend was mary ev's 21st birthday celebration, and i was honored by being asked to bake the cake for her party. it was a funfetti creation, two layered, icing-ed amazing piece of architecture.

the next morning, gameday mind you, i created the yummiest pound cake. and it was from a box. who would have thought a box pound cake would be good? betty crocker...you are an amazing woman.

back to our latest creation... the greatest chocolate cake EVER. yes. that is it's name.

the roommates and i wanted to make something from scratch, but, seeing that we are mixer-less, i made the executive decision to do a semi-homemade baked good. so of course, i googled how to make a box cake mix better.

i stumbled upon this blog by Kevin and Amanda. it is a precious blog. and an even better cake.

we made it. it was so good.
caroline m. even came over tonight and took some home with her. it is extraordinary. if you would like a cake made especially for you, you know how to get in touch with me.

___________________________

here i am. apologizing for letting my three followers down again. i have no excuse. i guess lack of whit and cleverness would be my only crutch to cling to currently.

nevertheless, i am back.

i have no real funny story to tell. no grand adventure to entice your hungry souls. my life, always so epic i know, has been very chill. very relaxed.

but, i did register for my half marathon. every time i say i am doing one, i do not. however, this time is different.

uncle wes has already told people we are doing it, and now the family is involved.

meaning-- pressure.

thanksgiving morning, i will be running 13.1 miles around downtown atlanta. how will you be spending your turkey day?

________________________

i am beginning to go back through 1 peter. i am so excited to see where the Lord leads me. what He decides to show me this time.

the only way you begin a relationship is by spending time. time daily. speaking and listening. learning about the way He moves, the way He talks, the ways He shows off.

i am beginning this new journey, new school year, with a new perspective.

to honor.
to serve.
to love.

last night.

last night i had the marvelous opportunity to come together with some brothers and sisters in Christ and pray over the people within the city of auburn.

we met in the sun room a house downtown and sat around just expressing our hearts and what the Lord was doing in our lives and what we were struggling/ dealing with. it was awesome. the only word that i could come up with right now is awesome. i have read many books, heard many stories, had many conversations, and the only word i can come up with to describe what happened last night is "awesome." Truly.

the Lord is going to meet us. we are expecting it, we are planning and preparing for it. where two or more are gathered in His name, there He will be!

as you all know, i read "jesus calling" everyday. and every single day, it is perfectly appropriate for my life, and weirdly enough, the lives of those around me.

here is today's message, and after last night, it could not be more perfectly suited for me to hear.

I am all around you, hovering over you

even as you seek My face.

I am nearer that you dare believe, closer than the air you breathe.

if My children could only recognize My Presence,

they would never feel lonely again.

I KNOW EVERY THOUGHT BEFORE YOU THINK IT,

EVERY WORD BEFORE YOU SPEAK IT.

My Presence impinges on your innermost being.

can you see the absurdity of trying to hide anything from Me?

you can easily deceive other people, and

even yourself.

but i read you like an open, large-print book.

deep within themselves, most people have some awareness

of My imminent Presence.

many people run from Me and vehemently deny My existence,

because my closeness terrifies them.

By MY own children have nothing to fear,

for I have cleansed them by My blood and clothed them in My

righteousness.

be blessed by My intimate nearness.

since I live in you, let Me also live THROUGH you,

SHINING MY LIGHT into the darkness.

my God is so amazing. so awesome.

i am so full right now, i am beaming.

thank you Jesus, thank you for loving me, for finding me.

my word.

i am sitting in the candle lit apartment i now call home. my roommates just escaped into their beds and i, the narcoleptic, can not sleep. so, my blog was screaming my name, calling me to dig and pour. when harry met sally is playing via tivo, and the tyler candle company candle is burning brightly on the chest/ottoman/ coffee table. i am enjoying this sweet moment of alone time, and my mind has been ticking all night. it is amazing the release that you find when writing. it is therapy.

we went to a movie tonight called Eat, Pray, Love. julia roberts stars as liz, a painfully attractive woman in the middle age span of life who desperately searches for balance and peace. it is a seemingly "cute" movie, but the depth of the content honestly threw me for a loop. it is safe to say that i now want to be liz. and it is a fact that i am now obsessed with the movie.

i want to see, taste, and soak up the world around me. the cultures, the people, the language. gosh, that movie made me want to pack a bag and get on an airplane tomorrow morning and never come back. ever. there was something so moving and powerful about watching this woman , successful and seemingly happy, take a chance and go. she went to find herself. i want to find something a little different, but something is out there to be found.

through the movie liz finds words for the people she encounters. the movie is a picture of the journey to find the word for herself. i know what i want my word to be. not "what i do, but who i am." i know my identity is found in Christ. i want to be found as Him. i just thought that was a neat parallel.

but i know i will travel again. i know i will be back in africa. scenes of bali brought back memories of kampala. i want to ride in my taxi to my little french restaurants at night after a long day in the village. i want to share to gospel with people who have never heard. oh but the Lord is telling me to wait. grow where i am planted. i am. i am trusting and being patient.

well. a sudden spell of sleepiness just overcame me. i think i am going to call it a night and save more of my spillage for another day.

remember to eat. pray. and love. but love is most important:)

update.

there are so many things to update.

so many in fact i am not even sure where to being. i cannot think of a way to gingerly move into all the things that i have been doing, or that have been happening in my life. this is my own fault. i do know that. i have let this blog go, and all my avid readers (yes all three of you), have been so poorly abandoned. which i apologize for from the deepest parts of my heart.

so to begin my update on my life we will begin with living arrangements. i am moved in and almost all the way settled into the apartment. it has been so great having my own place to live and breathe. i not only have my own room, but i have my own bathroom as well. it is a great feeling, being able to call this place home (well home when i am not talking to mom and dad). it is looking more and more like a home. we just started a cross wall and are eager to add to it.

i have escaped teen pregnancy. that is right. i am now twenty years old, and an no longer in danger of becoming a teen mom. now when i have kids, i wont be a statistic. awesome.

also. finally, after a year of making promises about a half marathon, i am seriously doing one. thanksgiving day in atlanta. my uncle and i are going to do it together because we will be celebrating in atlanta this year, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. i am excited. today, sara and i ran for 30 minutes and covered 3.42 miles, which is a 8'50 pace. which is not bad considering the fact that i ran for all of about fifteen mins in the past two or so weeks. i am excited about getting back into running shape.

i started junior year today. it is very strange that i have been in auburn for three years. i was thinking about all the people i know and have met over the three year span. it is a lot of people. and a lot of memories. i am really looking forward to learning more this year and making more memories.

once again i am being reminded that i am supposed to grow where i am planted. tonight, we went to laredo's (our favored mexican restaurant) and i noticed this family that sat next to our table. oddly enough, i had seen the woman and her three small children at sam's club the previous afternoon. which i thought was sorta ironic for them to be sitting next to us.

anyways.

after they finished eating and we were just talking around the table, i felt someone tap me on the shoulder. the woman was standing there with one of her sons and she asked me if i sang at cornerstone. she proceeded to explain that her daughter recognized me and she wanted to come tell me that i had blessed her with my singing. and that they were impacted by the worship we do at cornerstone.

i cannot tell you what an amazing moment that was for me. i don't know. she fact that someone was impacted by me just worshiping is so awesome. our God is amazing. He puts us just where we need to be at the right time. God has placed me in cornerstone for a reason, and that was made even more evident to me through that moment at laredo's.

__________________

my brain hurts. i want to tell so much on this blog tonight, however i am lacking in creativity and whit. i am embarrassed because i have such a lack for clever words and storied. they will come with time, but right now i am just struggling. i need inspiration.

____________________

i am taking my camera out to baby-sit with me tomorrow. i want to share ella with you. she is an angel.

with that i think i may go on to sleep. i have been slacking on the blog. and i apologize. deeply. but i do promise better blogs to come.

you can count on that.

four letter words.

wednesday we moved into the apartment for good. it looks awesome. we still have some work to do but it is going to look fantastic.

we started pre-rush yesterday afternoon. it used to be a "four letter word" in our vocabulary. but this year we decided to make the best out of it. so it will go faster and be more enjoyable for sure!

today i was reading my devotional while getting dressed for the morning and i read this verse. and i wanted to share it before i got started on my day!

Habakukk 3.18-19

yet i will rejoice in the Lord

I will take joy in the Lord of my salvation

God, the Lord, is my salvation

God, the Lord, is my strength;

he makes my feet like deer's

he makes me tread on my high places.

yes mam.

well. it's been a while.

so much stuff has been going on this month from weddings and celebrations of weddings, birthdays, balls, moving out, not really moving in, vacations, lots and lots of driving and school and nannying. this list could continue for quite some time.

but i have not blogged any of it. i wanted to take a little break from blog world. but now, sitting on the floor of my empty apartment, i felt the need.

this weekend my heart was overflowing with emotions. fears and apprehensive thoughts flooded my mind most of the time. i moved out of 36 completely and partially moved some things into 6305. it is exciting, but at the same time makes me nervous.

this semester is going to be different. different roommates (who i am so glad to be living with), different place to live, different friends to make, just a whole lot of different. i am excited, but a little nervous to see what the fall will bring.

but there were also emotions of joy and delight that only came from the Lord. cornerstone church was amazing on sunday. we are studying the attributes of God {based on the book by Tozer} and i cannot explain how excited this makes me. we are really digging deep into who God is, and although we will never fully comprehend Him, it is fascinating to watch His love unfold through these studies.

obviously all my followers know the passion i have for worship and that the Lord has instilled inside of me a great eagerness to share that passion for Him through music. another different thing about this semester is going to be helping lead worship for a small group. i have been praying for the past semester that the Lord would show my where i needed to plant my time and energy. that i could be used in a way that would glorify Him over all else. that i could use my talents and bless others at the same time.

my prayers we answered when i was asked to join this awesome group of lead worshipers on a journey to bring auburn students closer to the Lord. i know that the Lord planted me here in auburn for a reason, and this is part of His plan coming to fruition. i am beaming with eagerness to see where and what the Lord is going to being through this ministry. i have hear the greatest things, and an blessed to become a part of it.

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oh i'm running to your arms

i'm running to your arms

the riches of YOUR love

will always be enough!

nothing compares to Your embrace

light of the World

FOREVER REIGN!!

uhoh.

in journalism class, which i hope will come to an end next week, we talk about word usage. i learned i have been used a word improperly my whole life. and i am sure that many other people have done this as well.

nauseated vs. nauseous.

nauseated is an adjective meaning sickening or disgusting.

nauseous means you make other sick.

so when i say things like "oh my gosh that is making me nauseous" that means "oh my gosh that is making me make others sick."

just thought that was interesting.

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sometimes i get lost in what i think i want to do with my life. although i know that i have to rely on the Lord to get me from point A to point B, sometimes i think i know what i want.

you can work your whole life for something, and then it ends up not being what God wanted for you. although i am not to the point most of my roommates are (in 36, most of them have graduated or will in august), i become eager to learn what my future holds. i am assuming that this is just a human nature thing. we want to know stuff.

i was talking with my old friend Jeff about knowledge and learning. and he said "isn't it crazy you can work and study for years upon years and yet we will never know everything."

i guess sometimes we put so much weight into school, and into our performance in school, but in reality, it puts us nowhere closer to attaining true knowledge.

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you know sometimes how God just jumps out of a page at you. well i was breaking to read the devotion for this morning from my Jesus Calling book, and guess what. His grace is sufficient.

this is what i read today.

Do not worry about tomorrow! This is not a suggestion, but a command.

I divided time into days and nights, so that you would have manageable portions of life to handle.

My grace is sufficient for you, but it's sufficiency is for only one day at a time.

When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame.

You stagger under this heavy load, which I never intended you to carry.

Throw off this oppressive burden with one quick thrust of trust. Anxious thoughts meander about and crisscross in your brain, but trusting Me brings you directly into My Presence.

As you thus affirm your faith, shackles of worry fall off instantly. Enjoy My Presence continually by trusting Me at all times.

he will lead us on the right path....

faithfully

chi town.

i really want to go back to chicago.

it is one of my favorite places to go. 1. because it is vastly different from montgomery, or anywhere else in the south for that matter. 2. its diversity attracts people from all walks of life, making chicago one of a kind. 3. where else can you get the BEST PIZZA IN THE WORLD?? yeah i did not think so....

love this picture of the bean...this is when i fell in love with mom's camera

but i do love chicago. from the navy pier to michigan avenue and all the way to wrigley field and back to that shiny bean again. so many awesome memories. so many awesome places to re-visit. i cannot wait to find myself lost in a giant department store or sitting out next to the great lake. oh chi town how i long for you...

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monday i finished a book called "my sister's keeper." there is a movie now that was made after the book with cameron diaz and abigail breslin, but i have not seen it yet. so i got the book from kimmy because she said it was excellent. i finished it in about 3 days. it was spectacular. extremely sad though. i even cried. but it is worth the read.

all that to say that i began reading another book yesterday. it is one that i began, got frustrated with the author, and quit. i picked it up yesterday after my test and the face that i did not want to watch tv.

blue like jazz. written by donald miller. i have heard it is one of those "you gotta read" Christian books or whatever.... i am not big into trends, however a friend offered it, so i took that chance. like i said, i was not impressed. it got about 50 pages in and put the book down. it did not do anything for me, challenge me, encourage me... nothing.

but i thought i might give ole donald another chance yesterday. and you know what? he surprised me. now about 100 pages deep, mr. miller is really interesting to me.

for example, i read this last night and it stuck with me....

i found myself trying to love the right things without God's help, and it was impossible. I tried to go one week without thinking a negative thought about another human being, and i couldn't do it. before i tried that experiment, i thought u was a nice person, but after trying it, i realized i thought bad things about people all day long, and that, {was} my natural desire to love darkness.

when i read this paragraph, i started to understand that whenever you try to accomplish something without God, you fail.

i have always known this, it is something you learn in 5th grade sunday school.

but when i read someone else who was struggling with that, it hit home.

he continued...

i could go through the motions for a while, but sooner or later my heart would testify to its true love: darkness. then i would get up and try again. the cycle was dehumanizing.

another something reached deep into my soul while i was reading. after i read the words "dehumanizing" i thought about humanity. how many times to i blame things on humanity? on "this world we live in". i look for an excuse in my "human flesh" because we were simply "made like this."

but what an honor it is to be a human. we are the ONLY part of creation that has a direct relationship with God. we are the ONLY ones created in His image. what a great responsibility it is to be a human. miller wrote "i am a human because God made me. i experience suffering and temptation because man chose to follow satan. God is reaching out to me to rescue me".

and that only happens for humans. God did not send His one and only son to die on the cross for the sins of the trees. or the dirt. or even the birds. but for ALL OF MAN.

HUMAN. us.

it hit home with me. so many times i complain. and blame. but i should be thankful for the fact that God decided to create me. in order that i could worship and glorify Him.

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tomorrow is my comprehensive test for journalism. i aced yesterday's, which was super exciting! so i am going to study for that... until tomorrow

green tea. shaken. not stirred.

i just ordered a shaken green ice tea. or however you say it. it's pretty good if you like green tea. and an excellent alternative to drinking something hot during the summer. so shout out to starbucks for filling my belly with delicious liquid.

that was my attempt at blogging yesterday. epic fail.

some days i want to blog my thought. the amazingly exciting events that make up my life. or even something powerful i read during my QT this morning.

however, the most interesting news i have for today is that i do not feel like blogging this morning. nor did i even touch a computer or camera this weekend. all i did was sleep.

so. i am going to take a journalism test in awhile and i do not want to do that either. so is life. full of things we want and don't want to do.

yet, as i am sitting here, i find myself blogging about this....

anyway. i am out. peace.

mark.

my cousin mark is getting hitched in a week and one day. it's hard to believe. there are stories about mark feeding me cheerios one at a time as i waddled around the house. every time i would come over the mark's house, he would give me a "present." apparently, according to mom and aunt j, it would some sort of little thing he would find in his room. i have memories of us making "lunch" after sunday lunch at mamaw's house.

three years my senior, mark was the older brother i never had. he was always there to pick me up for church, take me to moe's, let me hang out with his really cool girlfriend, and tell me when i needed to keep away from certain boys. over the years, i have watched him grow into a strong and wise man of God. his wisdom astounds me in so many ways. he is a leader, a role model, a teacher. i am so proud to call him my cousin, but more like my brother.

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speaking of mark... there is an acquaintance of mine who writes a blog. he is doing a chapter by chapter study of mark. he wants it to interactive, so i decided to start reading it chapter by chapter sort of following him on his blog.

this morning i read chapter one. mark is talking about john the baptizer, the temptation of Jesus, and how Jesus begins his ministry. the first thing i noticed while reading the first chapter was that when Jesus reacted, he reacted immediately. the chapter has seven mentions of Jesus and his new disciples acting immediately after being moved by the Spirit.

the Word does not say Jesus went in a few hours. or even the next morning, but right then. immediately. as in all things, we should follow Christ's example and act immediately. we should obey without stopping for a second to question our actions. we just act because, through faith, we know that it is what God wants us to do.

another thing-

v. 34. "and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him"

- alright. Jesus shuts up hell. literally Jesus is already known by the demons, and he shut them up. he cast them out of people, and they already knew who Jesus was. they did not argue, because Jesus' power is so great. i just love that part of the verse, Jesus basically said "shut up."

and in v. 35- people came out of the woodwork to see Jesus. his fame was spreading like wildfire. and with good reason. it was so crazy that Jesus could not even go out to public without being noticed as the Healer. people were coming to Him, and He was doing His work.

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and i miss my brother and sister pretty badly.

friend time.

tonight i had the wonderful opportunity to spend quality time with my dear friend kimmy. she is a beauty. we watched the bachelorette on the tevo are her apartment, which is going to also be my apartment in a couple weeks!

i am so excited about it. we talked about everything we wanted to do in the place, what i wanted to bring, what we needed to purchase... it made us both excited. it is going to be one hopping joint come august. you'll want to be invited to our parties. they will be fun.

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i talked to a friend about taking time off from school. logically, it is not a good idea. but when does your heart ever speak logically? i would love to take a semester or two off and go do mission work somewhere. i would love to learn the ins and outs of being a full time missionary. and really breathe in what it means to serve overseas or in america as a missionary.

but school is kinda important, i guess. not that it would not be worth taking time off, but i feel that i need to finish what i have started before i start something else. but we will see. the Lord can always open doors. or close them.

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i think one of the most amazing things in all of the creation God has bestowed on us mere men is a sunset. today when i ran down gay street i turned to face the sun above town creek park. the rays exploded from behind clouds. the light burned my eyes and forced me to squint and place my hand over my brow. the sky, painted pale pink and blue, was spotted with fluffy cotton candy clouds.

it is the sign of an ending day, and the beginning of another. that sun has seen thousands of years ago, and it sees me. the sun that Jesus played under, and welcomed His days, welcomes me and says goodnight every single day. what an awesome concept.

the sun is a marvelous piece of creation. but, it is only a small glimpse of what glory looks like. we know that creation is just a picture of eagerness to glorify the Lord. creation will one day burst into worship in its full capacity, in of which we only see a small part now.

what a day that will be. when the sun sings, and mountains bow down, and the grass and flowers dance in praise and adoration to our Lord.

just something to think about.

God must have been an auburn fan....

until later...

ninty.

well my faithful blog followers... this is blog post number 90. thank you for continuing to read and follow my little humble blog. it's people like you that make this worth while.

yesterday was the fourth, and we had a out of the ordinary celebration. stead was at the lake with friends and emily was babysitting so most of the day was dad, mom and me. dinner was good and hunter joined us, but emily was occupied with a crying baby most of the meal.

after i cleaned the kitchen, the three of us went to wynlakes to watch the fireworks. it was a real long show. but, as always, i love my fireworks. i even brought my camera in the car, but i decided against taking any photos. so, none to post.

but speaking of celebrating our country and freedom... my cousin is leaving for Iraq this week. he is about 27 years old and is from birmingham. he is really my step-cousin, but we were close when we were young. his name is logan and if you think about it, we are asking that you pray for him as he fights for our country. he is in the army, and will be serving for a year.

we have been praying this scripture over him daily-

91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say [1] to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge [2]—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,no plague come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

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brian spoke on sunday morning at cornerstone. we have been learning about nehemiah and he talked about chapter 5. the thing that spoke the most to me was when he discussed justice and righteousness and that they coincided. as in, the search and pursuit of righteousness is the pursuit of justice.

he defined justice as LOVE SEEN IN PUBLIC. what a perfect definition for something you almost cannot put a definition on. justice carries equality, fairness, but as brian said, most importantly- LOVE.

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in church they showed a picture of brian's wife's sister (confusing? yes) and she had gone on the trip with the church to uganda. to my kids. and in that picture was sweet little mercy. she was the little girl who kinda picked

me to hang on to. i loved seeing her smiling face on the screen. it brightened my heart.

i went back and looked at some pictures from africa, which i do often. and as i stared into the faces of the children that i love so much, i saw hope. i saw courage. and most importantly, i saw love. childlike, innocent, faithful love.

it reminds me that when it all goes away, when you feel like you can't move on, there is always love. i want to be that love. i want to be remembered as one who loved, who always accepted others and loved them with my whole heart, as Christ would love. love is the basis of all things, when you think about it. the reason we are on the earth is love. the reason God sent Christ to die is LOVE. Jesus conquered death for the sake of LOVE!! God is love. therefore, every single thing that comes from Him is manifested in us through LOVE. patience, self-control, justice, righteousness... it all stems from LOVE.

live in love. share your love.

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but i am off to study for journalism. i am looking forward to a fun week:)

until later

morgan