Thursday, January 29, 2009


as i am preparing my heart and mind for winter retreat, there is this song that just keeps coming at me in all directions. i know that at some point during the weekend we will sing it in worship, but as i am going over the things the Lord wants to be said there, this song comes to mind over and over. almost as though it is a canvas for this weekend, a canvas for me to base all my dealings upon for winter retreat. it may not be for the whole group or even my family group, but maybe just my heart.

the song is Jesus Paid It All. there, in that title, is everything. Jesus Paid It All. and though there are several miraculous verses to this hymn, the one doing the brain popping is as follows:

and when, before the throne,
i stand in Him complete, Jesus died my soul to save,
my lips shall still repeat

now i just want to break down these words. when, not if but WHEN, i go before the throne of the one Living and True God, i will stand in Him complete. because of Jesus i will be able to stand with Him in the presence of the Living and True God. i have this in me, by accepting Jesus as my savior, i have the power to stand with Him. but not as a sinful human, who should be despised, but whole. without blemish or mark....complete. and then the kicker...the reason Jesus died. my soul. that's right my soul....morgan bethea's soul. my soul, which is tainted and gross. but God loves my soul and seeks after it passionately.oh every time it gets me.

and when each person sings that is for their soul.

to be completely honest, my heart starts beating super fast when i start talking about it. our salvation is defined there in those words. Jesus died for our souls...and makes us complete. and note that it does not say "i stand with my stuff and my awards and my car and my friends in Him". it says i STAND WITH HIM. that's all.

truly, that is my cry to the Lord tonight. i want to stand with Him...alone.

Friday, January 23, 2009

ticking clocks

it has been a while since the last time i posted. no particular reason other than the fact that i have been forgetful. this new year has been full of new things, which in turn brings new activities and less time.

time is an interesting thing. time is what we live our lives by. how much time is left, what time we are leaving, what time we will be home, how much time it is going to take... see? we are so fixed on this time schedule we forget the one who holds time in His hands. there are many things in our lives that we want to "get finished" with quickly, so that we can move on to other more "interesting things". for instance when we start junior high, we are already preparing our minds for high school and then getting out of high school and then college, grad school and then we want to get through our jobs so we can retire. before we know it, we have wished away the time we have and we loose some of the wonder time brings.

time does a lot of things. it heals, it brings acceptance and forgiveness. time is sacred right? however many times i get so caught up on my time. what do i want to do with my time and my life. and then i am reminded there is this perfect creator of time, to whom time does not even apply, who knows what to do with time, if i hand it over. we put timers on things, "if this doesn't happen by this time than i am not doing..yada yada..".... sound familiar? of course it does. our lives are so fixed, and we need to become fluid to God's time.

we all say be flexible... but that is SO wrong. be fluid: like water. water is able to do whatever you want it to. it can fit into any container you put it in and can go anyway you want to direct it. we must be like water, in God's hands. going where ever, when ever, how ever He wants: with out question.

so i pray today that we all put away our clocks and rely on the Spirit to lead and guide our actions according to the Lord's perfect and timeless will.