Saturday, December 19, 2009

bustin the block

blockbuster hates me. this fact has been brought to my attention in the past, however tonight it became reality. my brother and i were enjoying a little quality time together and after a fun-filled evening of christmas shopping and filling our bellies with a little mama g's, we headed to our local movie store to rent a movie. after searching for the movie which best fit our mood, little bro decided on little miss sunshine. which, i must add, is one of my all time favorites. i was thoroughly pleased with my brother's decision and we proceeded to check out.

our dear friend tommy behind the counter asked us to grab a different dvd because the one we picked was looking a little "messed up". gladly exchanging the dvd's, paid, and walked out to the car.

arriving home, we began settling into begin this marvelous movie. i was very happy to share such greatness with my little brother. he was also eager to watch. but no. five short minutes into the movie the dvd starts skipping. as with every other time we rent a movie, we opened the player and cleaned the movie off. then did it about four more times. fifth time: we took the movie back. after a process with our friend tommy, we were suggested to change movies. stead and i were both very upset and settled for the breakup. not as good. in the least. oh blockbuster. messing up our evening.

however, when emily came home we watched the entire snl christmas episode on my computer. she did not realize all she was missing in her life until after the show was over. we then proceeded to watch a handful of wonderful other snl skits. fantastic. thank you snl, you made my night one million times better.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

white stars. glittery trees.

raise your hand if you are not studying. [[please consider this sentence the action of me raising my hand extremely high. ]]

gosh i am finished with the french language forever. at least the studies of the french language. and at least as i have planned. but, as with all things, they are subject to change. but the moment i turned in that exam was the moment my brain had a little party to itself about the wonderful greatness that it had just accomplished. so grand. you should have been there.

good story. walked into ak's coffee, which i had never been to before, and was pleasantly surprised by extreme awkward silence. i was so alarmed by this lack of noise and conversation i even turned to my friend who i was with and commented. which led to my commenting to the cute little girl behind the counter. she was cute. had a great little outfit on.

if i worked in a coffee shop, my outfit would look like that. no doubt.

my friend and i "adjusted" our voices as i proceeded to pour out very interesting and i am sure fascinating storied about my experiences with doctors lately. after our drinks arrived and we were soaking in the quiet and each other's stories we noticed there was now music playing quietly overhead. later i realized that the real reason there was music playing was because i commented on the awkwardness in the room. thank. you. coffee. girl.

leaving coffee with glitter covering my body was really hilarious. there was this precious little decorative tree on the table that was covered with little gold glitter. lots. of gold. glitter. and because i am a very distracted individual and enjoy playing with things i proceeded to get glitter all over me. as did my friend. i love glittery trees.

africa has been on my heart this week. i've been wearing my black ring with the white stars on it from the market in uganda. i am just praying for guidance. maybe a little sign that i should be where i am. and be doing what i'm doing.

as in all situations in life, my lack of knowledge in some areas is proving to be as good as i thought. which is not really good at all. praying for guidance there too.

so now i am going to run. l o n g. i need it bad. then i'll jump back into the world of rocks and plate tectonics. the world of geology.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

better love i see

i don't want to face this valley
i don't want to walk alone
you say that you'll leave to find me
well i am begging you now to come

don't think i could face the morning
my heaviness is on my chest
you say that you'll lift this burden
well i am begging you to bring me rest

so come and find me
in the darkest night of my soul
in the shadow of the valley
i am dying
for you to make me whole
for you to make me whole

i can't keep myself from sinking
from drowning down in all this shame
my throat is worn out from calling for help
and im praying you'll remember my name

i know i can't fight this battle
been surrounded on every side
you say that you will deliver me
well i am praying that you'll restore my life
so come and find me
in the darkest night of my soul
in the shadow of the valley
i am dying
for you to make me whole
for you to make me whole

answer me out of the goodness of love
and your mercy turned to me
i know its you that i've been running from
but i'm seeing that it's you i need
you're all i need

today i was able to look back to my first few blogs and reminisce about the past year. all the things i've seen, all the things i've done, all my new friends, all my old ones. all the things that have changed. it was a meaningful little experience. i began reading about finals last year. my first finals as an eager little freshman. i read about my lack of focus during finals, and that is one thing that has not changed with time.

this time of the school year draws you to your friends, for fear that by some unfortunate circumstance you wont see them until after the break. which, bitter sweet as it may seem, is a whole month long. you also are drawn to those you love because of the season. no, i am not referring to the cold, but to the season of celebration that is approaching. what a fantastic feeling rises in us during the christmas season. gosh i love it.

this week i am singing the first solo of my cornerstone career. we practiced tonight in brians little office which was cool. josh and jon and brian all played acoustic with bj on the djembe. it was close and warm. not only the atmosphere in the room, but the sound was. i love intimate settings as those. you are exposed. you are probably going to make a mistake that they are going to hear. but, that is reality. beautiful, imperfect reality.

in spite of the fact that i have finals breathing down my neck, i am sitting here writing for three people to read. total lack of motivation obviously.
i believe i should return to the world of books and re-memorizing everything i have learned this semester. oh the joy. it is no fun, but it has to be done nonetheless.

Monday, November 16, 2009

a new "leave"

went on a walk yesterday. it was a long one and it was fantastic. it was a great date with my roommate who i have not seen in ages. none the less even talked to.

so several things happened on this walk. i mean i wish i had a video camera with me. but, unfortunately, i did not. so bare with my descriptions of the events that took place. this is epic.

1. as we were walking up a slight hill on donahue, we spotted two little jogger coming toward us. both female, both running pretty briskly. girl one runs by and about three seconds later girl two scampers on by. as girl two runs by, we realize home slice has her hair down. like and this hair is long and curly. i mean i could totally understand if you had like a bob or something, but like she's running and her hair is down. she was running to be pretty we decided. ended up badly for her, she looked weird.

2. we walk about ten yards and we spot another jogger running down the hill. sara and i both realize the hilarity of the next few moments. you ever seen someone run so funny that you burst into laughter? yeah. this was one of those times. i cannot explain in detail, but sara could probably attest to the joy this brought us both.

3. its appropriate that this is number 3. there were three very annoying guys who decided it would be really really cool to make their car make really obnoxious noise as they drove by, therefore driving us crazy. so for all you guys who think it's bad A to do that, it's not. like not at all.

i mean that is all i can really think of that was so funny about our walk.

lessons for yesterday: do not get the americano from starbucks. do not eat your soup without making sure it is cool.

last night however, i got my nature fix. i am a sucker for things like stars and chewacla. tonight i got the opportunity to go to kisel park to watch a meteor shower. it was truly awesome. it puts you in perspective. although the meteors were not like everywhere, i did see like 7. i enjoyed the conversation and the beauty of creation. great memories. even though my toes froze.

i am really feeling the activities of the last couple of days. i think i may have pushed myself a little too hard. my mouth and jaw are still really sore and i am very fatigued. maybe last night was not the best idea, staying out so incredibly late. i will say it was worth it. for sure it was worth it. . .

Saturday, November 14, 2009

milkshakes and soup

i've never been truly high before until today. currently, i am feeling the effects of the lortab that is now part of my daily routine. no, i am not a junkie, however i did have all four wisdom teeth removed friday morning. they always joke about the way you wake up from anesthesia and have no clue what is going on. it's not a joke. i have absolutely no recollection of the car ride home. all i remember from yesterday afternoon was being woken by my mother every 45 mins to remove the rather nasty stuff from my mouth (i'll spare you the details).

pain was intense last night. not much swelling, but the pain was serious. all i ate from thursday night at about 11:54 to last night was half a strawberry milkshake. honestly, that is all i could open my mouth wide enough to to swallow.

mom is awesome at making soup. she made me three kinds, all equally wonderful. it really makes me happy about thanksgiving and christmas. i am so excited about cooking and stuff with her. i miss it while at school.

annoyances i have come to realize lately:
1. abbreviations
is it really that hard to say the whole word? miserable has turned into mis, perfect- perf, precious- presh, and the list goes on... it annoys me. i have found myself sometimes stooping so low as to say these little abbrevs. however i am trying diligently to rib my vocabulary of these shortenings.

2. taylor swift
i know it is shocking that i would have an aversion to taylor swift. the main reason is probably because she is so well liked by everyone else. no really. i don't like her. she honestly can not sing, or dance. she was pretty funny on SNL. and i also find myself singing her songs and on some occasions enjoying it. but really? entertainer of the year? kill me. just because all the little pre teens love love love her, does not mean she is the best entertainer of the year. whatever. off my soap box.

there are a few things that i have really grown to be obsessed with.
1. powerade zero.
its the most perfect drink i can think of. it's like water that tastes like candy for zero calories. and it has electrolytes and b vitamins. sara thinks i am slightly addicted and i might have been for a while, however i have come off of it for the most part.

2. justin beiber.
yes, i am coming clean. i find this new star so enjoyable to listen to. he really has talent. not to mention he is so cute. i listen to his videos on youtube a lot. slightly embarrassing, indeed. but still, i like the kid a lot. i mean i'd sing with him.

3. nikon d5000.
i'm finally going to get the camera of my dreams. i am an aspiring photographer and cannot wait to hold this treasure in my hands. it is going to be my christmas present from grandmama and papaw. i am beyond elated to receive this gift. get ready, i may even get a flicker site and everyone can look at my pictures.

and so you can tell i am a little bored. my medicine limits me and my mouth hurts too bad not to take it. i have been talking a lot more than i need to. i will probably post again today. i'm sure something funny will happen. until the next post...

Monday, November 9, 2009

wisdom teeth

i had a long conversation the other day with a dear friend about wisdom. where we gain wisdom, how we display it, and how age correlates with wisdom. it was extremely appropriate seeing as i am having wisdom pain currently. but we were standing in the kitchen, discussing wisdom, and it occurred to me that wisdom becomes a characteristic when you display it. if you have wisdom, use it. wisdom is a gift, only given when asked for. one must work to gain it. and once gained, let it be been and shared with others.

and age does have to do with wisdom. over time your wisdom grows. however, if you never ask for it, you will never receive. and that is how a seventy year old man can have little wisdom.
also, watch out for putting feet in your mouth. it can be embarrassing on many different levels. just a little wisdom i picked up from my dearest friend.

recently i have become obsessed with candy corn and peanuts. eaten together. it is perfection.

and now i go a step deeper into my thoughts about my previous topic. holes. so i feel like i am in a revolving door. i keep spinning around this stuff not really getting anywhere. everything keeps coming back without resolve and without an end. i wish someone would stick their foot in the door and stop this spinning. i'm nauseous. tired. annoyed. and oh yeah a little frustrated. and i always thought the revolving doors were fun as a child, but now the repetitive circular happenings in my life are confusing. often times i find them unbearable.

none the less, they are the happenings of my life. i have learned that keeping busy is the best medicine. and to top it all off i am looking forward to being a chipmunk and high this weekend. i get the teeth of wisdom removed this friday. no, there will be no posted pictures and yes you can come to montgomery and visit me. i will probably express my true and deepest feelings about you. i should sell tickets.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


i'm really numb today. i woke up to bad news and bad news continued all day. even until right now. my heart is numb and i don't feel anything. i am not sure if i want to.

i am reminded that death is inevitable. it is going to happen and it is going to happen to the ones that you love and care about. death in any form is hard. whether it is death of a person or death of a relationship. death hurts. but we must not fear death. many times i become selfish, wishing the ones i've lost were with me, here, on the earth. but why would i wish them back here to pain. back here to hardships, when their new bodied are shining and bright. where there is no crying, no shame, no sickness, no holes. i would never wish them back here, but i can only wish for my going to them.

holes. i don't like talking about holes. but i have one right now. a hole of uncertainty i guess. a hole of confusion. a hole that i know will be filled, but how? i have no idea. praying for the hole is all i can do. can't hold on, that just rips it wider. painful, yes. overpowering, not by God's grace.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


its official. i am terrible at this blogging thing. i forget that i even have it sometimes. my bad to the three people who read this.

a lot of things have fallen on my plate. pretty simple things. however simple they may be, they are still occupying this limited space on my plate. a lot of things are different these days too. i guess that comes with growing and learning.

the main reason i started this blog was to get things out into the open; to more or less remind myself of what is currently happening in my life. my own personal thoughts out for whomever to read. but lately i haven't been so giving with my feelings. many of my fears have come back, whether it is being judged or criticized i am not sure. still the fears do exist. writing is not so easy as it once was.

it's way to late for me to be developing any of this. so maybe next time.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

drew and ellie

drew and ellie holcomb are so amazing. i am so glad that i went with the girls a couple weeks ago to listen to them. they did a free concert at town creek here in auburn and i fell in love. they are the absolute cutest couple. he plays the guitar, she the mandolin and they both sing. she is my inspiration for my voice, that is with her harmonies and such. she is so gifted and she blends so beautifully with her husband. they are p r e c i o u s.

so this weekend was the first football game of the season. it was a lot of fun for sure. there's something about football though, i mean there is something so spectacular about college football. especially in the south. we hold it so high. but walking around saturday, watching thousands of orange and blue clad fans, little family tailgates, empty solo cups and experiencing that intoxicating smell of burgers, hotdogs, beer, and fresh cut grass made me love it even more. honestly, the beginning video this year did not do it for me as it has in the past, however the band did it's job. i expect to hear a little more "sweet carolines" though . . .

i love how one week can be so different from the past weeks. how although this college experience gives you ample opportunity to create structure and a set schedule, there is also a great deal of freedom. let's just say my sleep doctor is N O T going to be very happy with me come october 13th.

still laughing about my french class. that is a whole other blog waiting to happen. haha.

praying for patrick and sara every day. watched blood diamond this weekend... did N O T help the desire to be back in africa. they said TIA like a bunch in that movie... ahhh

also CHRIS and LAURA are PREGNANT!!!!!! oh cannot wait. i feel like an aunt, but i'm just a little second cousin. this child is going to be so spoiled.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

n e w n e s s

n e w place. n e w roommates. n e w classes. n e w friends. n e w alphas.

this year has brought a ton of new stuff; some expected things, some unexpected.

although it's been awhile since i've written, i felt tonight was appropriate. i went to the most amazing thing in the world tonight. ellie and drew holcomb are amazing. they were at town creek tonight and they rocked my world.

i started something else new. cornerstone asked me to start singing there. it's another new leaf, a new adventure. i really enjoy it a ton.

but back to what this newness means for me. a lot of deep thinking. a lot of heart aches. a ton actually. but this is what growing is. growing deeper, growing stronger. where this year will lead me, honestly i have no clue. i am so very excited about it though, i am experiencing a new freedom. so i will continue on, singing.

baby melanie.. youre in my prayers. youre in a better place now. i l o v e y o u

Friday, May 8, 2009

may 8

today is friday may the 8th. i leave auburn in exactly four days for Uganda.

yesterday, i took my last exams as a freshman. and i packed my car to the brim and drove home to mongtomery. as i was driving home and singing (totally normal) i almost had a wreck. yesterday there were floods in montgomery and my mom and dad had called to warn me, but i was kinda like "oh sure...floods". since when does it flood in montgomery. well as i was driving home, i saw the floods and was shocked. at one point i almost slammed on my breaks it was so crazy. i felt so bad for the families who had their homes messed up. as i was walking last night i saw a couple homes in my neighbothood that were having restoration work done to their homes. it reminded me to be thankful that the flood did not mess up my home.

then my train of thoughts went to uganda. restoration. restore. bingo.

that is what we are going over there to do, restore. bring restoration to the people in uganda looking for healing. we get to being restoration to eye sight which is something i am truly excited about. the Eyes for Africa organization gave us about two or three hundred pairs of eye glasses for the people in uganda. it is going to be a very fascinating experience, as will the rest of the trip.

today i am praying for a gentle spirit with people. not only my family, but with people that i will encounter daily on the trip. i am so thankful for our team. we all mesh so weirdly together that it is only by God's grace. i have just loved getting to be around them and growing together before this journey.

sometimes i find myself getting caught up in the whole schedule thing, but i know that it will not be a very tight schelule over there. i am learning to be flexible, well fluid. fluidity. just like water. i love that illustration.

well that is what is currently on my mind. until later... law and order calls.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

shocking... i think not

is it shocking to you that i am not studying for finals right now. ha. not shocking to me at all. why? well because i am about to embark on an incredible journey across the world. yes i am referring to unganda. one week and one day away. goodness it is just so shocking to me that after so many years of praying and pleading with the Lord to send me, He is.

ah so exciting.

i have been packing up my dorm room this week and on thursday when i went home with my parents, we took all my clothes. all but a few things for me to wear this week. my closet is completely bare, save my dress from church this morning and a robe ( yes a robe). everything in my room is boxed or in a basket or tub awaiting it's departure back to the Gump. i just cannot believe that i am moving out. i mean it feels like two days ago that i moved in hollifield. it's just craziness.

i am also pretty sad that i am not going to be living with mary evelyn. i am super happy about living with sara and laura! i really, really am. but i am sad not to see precious mev everyday. she has been such a blessing and gracious friend this year and she is sooo great. i'm just so happy she is going to be in montgomery this summer...

church was marvelous today. i have a new favorite song and i would sing it for you... but that would be dumb i guess. ha

i will fall at your feet, i will fall at your feet, and i will worship you. the feeling you gave your all for us. surrendered your life upon that cross, great is the love brought up for all, this is OUR God.

great words. powerful words. our God, the same God in africa, the same God in america. He is OUR God.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


i am quite embarrassed that i have not posted in so long. in preparation for ending my freshman year, a lot had been going on and a lot of things have happened. however, that is no real excuse not to write.

i have been really working on getting ready for uganda. i leave in two weeks. in two short weeks i will half way across the world, teaching and preparing hearts for the coming of the King. i honestly forget sometimes that i am going. next sunday is our commissioning service at cornerstone. then that afternoon we have our last meeting before we leave. it's remarkable to me how the Lord takes a desire in your heart and makes it happen. He is so faithful! the Lord does give you the desires of your heart when you seek after him with your whole heart!

i am looking forward to sharing the good news with the people in uganda.we practiced the other day and i starting think, Lord, what if i cannot do this. but then Christ showed me a picture of him on his knees with the children, just as i will be, just telling them the story of his Father. and that is all i have to do. share the story and show the story through my life. i am so eager to be there.

i heard this song today and it touched my soul. i wanted to share.

When there's nothing to believe in, I be live in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours be the proof
Though the strong could be my company, you're the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you

I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you'll remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

well until tomorrow, God BLess

Friday, March 27, 2009

rainy day

it's finally spring here, which means tons of pollen and thankfully tons of sun. with the exception of today of course. woke up to one of those stay in bed days, but i had class at eight. so i trudged through the rain to class, enduring the cold wet hours to follow.
although it is raining, and it has been for the past two days, there is something so refreshing about it. for example, i was sitting in music appreciation class when mr. dickerson quoted dolly parton. random, i thought, however the words were quite meaningful. he said, " you can't have a rainbow unless you go through the rain." perfect, i thought. that is life right there. a great application to our lives. our lives have rain like today and rain like ivan, but in the end, God always provides a promise of a rainbow in the end.

the other day i was thinking about uganda and i was praying for my team. then it hit me how close i am to leaving. it's less than two months away. two months! i am so eager to be there, soaking up the joy and pouring out the love of Christ. and in my eagerness to be over there, i did some research on Swahili words that i may use in uganda. i learner my favorite one, thank you very much... asante sana. it flows so well and i know that i will use it a lot. i know i use it a lot already, asante sana.

enjoying the rain the lord gives, as the earth soaks up the rain, i am soaking up the joy of the Lord through his salvation. Asante sana Jesus.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


winter retreat 2009. radical.
the weekend proved to be as wonderful and moving as i had expected. i had the opportunity to be a lead worshiper with over 400 people who were honestly and humble seeking after the Lord. i heard the beautiful melodies being sung by precious children of the Lord and saw hearts break across faces in the crowd. i experienced radical change within my own heart. within my own soul the Lord worked and moved in a way i knew He would.

falling now has a new meaning. i am trusting that when i fall into the will and plan of the Lord, He will catch me. that seems so elementary, however when you are actually faced with the trust-fall, will you be ready? i thought i was, and turns out when i turned around to fall, He was there. then the Lord asked me to turn around and face Him. then he asked me to fall back. i know that God wants me to fall back and trust He will catch me, and i do. i truly got to the place that weekend with God that i knew i would fall back into whatever His will has for me. i just don't know what exactly that is.

now i am radically seeking after Him. because when i search for Him with my whole heart, He allows me to find Him.

what else is there going on? because it's been awhile...
uganda meeting went amazingly well. the Lord has brought a truly diverse and strangely connected group together. each has our own strengths and weaknesses brought to the table and we have all become very vulnerable to the Lord's will for us. our lives will never be the same after the trip and i can already see what the Lord is going to do. the precious lives that will be changed and the hearts that will be opened to the remarkable love of the Father. may His light shine.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


as i am preparing my heart and mind for winter retreat, there is this song that just keeps coming at me in all directions. i know that at some point during the weekend we will sing it in worship, but as i am going over the things the Lord wants to be said there, this song comes to mind over and over. almost as though it is a canvas for this weekend, a canvas for me to base all my dealings upon for winter retreat. it may not be for the whole group or even my family group, but maybe just my heart.

the song is Jesus Paid It All. there, in that title, is everything. Jesus Paid It All. and though there are several miraculous verses to this hymn, the one doing the brain popping is as follows:

and when, before the throne,
i stand in Him complete, Jesus died my soul to save,
my lips shall still repeat

now i just want to break down these words. when, not if but WHEN, i go before the throne of the one Living and True God, i will stand in Him complete. because of Jesus i will be able to stand with Him in the presence of the Living and True God. i have this in me, by accepting Jesus as my savior, i have the power to stand with Him. but not as a sinful human, who should be despised, but whole. without blemish or mark....complete. and then the kicker...the reason Jesus died. my soul. that's right my soul....morgan bethea's soul. my soul, which is tainted and gross. but God loves my soul and seeks after it passionately.oh every time it gets me.

and when each person sings that is for their soul.

to be completely honest, my heart starts beating super fast when i start talking about it. our salvation is defined there in those words. Jesus died for our souls...and makes us complete. and note that it does not say "i stand with my stuff and my awards and my car and my friends in Him". it says i STAND WITH HIM. that's all.

truly, that is my cry to the Lord tonight. i want to stand with Him...alone.

Friday, January 23, 2009

ticking clocks

it has been a while since the last time i posted. no particular reason other than the fact that i have been forgetful. this new year has been full of new things, which in turn brings new activities and less time.

time is an interesting thing. time is what we live our lives by. how much time is left, what time we are leaving, what time we will be home, how much time it is going to take... see? we are so fixed on this time schedule we forget the one who holds time in His hands. there are many things in our lives that we want to "get finished" with quickly, so that we can move on to other more "interesting things". for instance when we start junior high, we are already preparing our minds for high school and then getting out of high school and then college, grad school and then we want to get through our jobs so we can retire. before we know it, we have wished away the time we have and we loose some of the wonder time brings.

time does a lot of things. it heals, it brings acceptance and forgiveness. time is sacred right? however many times i get so caught up on my time. what do i want to do with my time and my life. and then i am reminded there is this perfect creator of time, to whom time does not even apply, who knows what to do with time, if i hand it over. we put timers on things, "if this doesn't happen by this time than i am not doing..yada yada..".... sound familiar? of course it does. our lives are so fixed, and we need to become fluid to God's time.

we all say be flexible... but that is SO wrong. be fluid: like water. water is able to do whatever you want it to. it can fit into any container you put it in and can go anyway you want to direct it. we must be like water, in God's hands. going where ever, when ever, how ever He wants: with out question.

so i pray today that we all put away our clocks and rely on the Spirit to lead and guide our actions according to the Lord's perfect and timeless will.