standing

as i am preparing my heart and mind for winter retreat, there is this song that just keeps coming at me in all directions. i know that at some point during the weekend we will sing it in worship, but as i am going over the things the Lord wants to be said there, this song comes to mind over and over. almost as though it is a canvas for this weekend, a canvas for me to base all my dealings upon for winter retreat. it may not be for the whole group or even my family group, but maybe just my heart.

the song is Jesus Paid It All. there, in that title, is everything. Jesus Paid It All. and though there are several miraculous verses to this hymn, the one doing the brain popping is as follows:

and when, before the throne,
i stand in Him complete, Jesus died my soul to save,
my lips shall still repeat

now i just want to break down these words. when, not if but WHEN, i go before the throne of the one Living and True God, i will stand in Him complete. because of Jesus i will be able to stand with Him in the presence of the Living and True God. i have this in me, by accepting Jesus as my savior, i have the power to stand with Him. but not as a sinful human, who should be despised, but whole. without blemish or mark....complete. and then the kicker...the reason Jesus died. my soul. that's right my soul....morgan bethea's soul. my soul, which is tainted and gross. but God loves my soul and seeks after it passionately.oh every time it gets me.

and when each person sings that song...it is for their soul.

to be completely honest, my heart starts beating super fast when i start talking about it. our salvation is defined there in those words. Jesus died for our souls...and makes us complete. and note that it does not say "i stand with my stuff and my awards and my car and my friends in Him". it says i STAND WITH HIM. that's all.

truly, that is my cry to the Lord tonight. i want to stand with Him...alone.